Download E-books Gods Behaving Badly: A Novel PDF

By Marie Phillips

Being a Greek god isn't all it as soon as used to be. certain, the twelve gods of Olympus are alive and good within the twenty-first century, yet they're stuffed jointly in a London townhouse-and none too satisfied approximately it. And they have needed to get day jobs: Artemis as a dog-walker, Apollo as a television psychic, Aphrodite as a cellphone intercourse operator, Dionysus as a DJ.

Even extra disturbingly, their powers are waning, or even turning mortals into trees--a favourite hobby of Apollo's--is sapping their important reserves of strength.

Soon, what starts off as a minor squabble among Aphrodite and Apollo escalates into an epic conflict of wills. at a loss for words people, Alice and Neil, who're stuck within the crossfire, needs to worry not just for his or her personal lives, yet for the survival of humankind. not anything lower than a real act of heroism is needed-but can those decidedly traditional humans reflect the feats of the legendary heroes and shop the area?

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The entire sofas and chairs in there have been torn or damaged, so Ares used to be sitting on a cushion in entrance of the rickety espresso desk, his maps and charts unfolded prior to him, a couple of calipers in his hand. His forehead was once furrowed; he looked to be doing some advanced calculation. He didn’t search for as Artemis got here in. “You desire a shave,” stated Artemis, status within the doorway. “Mmm,” stated Ares, with no turning his head. “This struggle on terror isn’t generating sufficient casualties. Bringing in Iran is the most obvious selection, yet I don’t imagine they’ve acquired sufficient firepower but. i ponder if i may by some means antagonize Japan? ” “Have you obvious Apollo? ” stated Artemis. “Bathroom,” stated Ares. “Tell him to get a movement on. i would like a shave. ” “Yes, I simply stated that,” acknowledged Artemis. “There’s continuously Russia,” acknowledged Ares, “but they’ve been more durable to impress because the finish of the chilly conflict. Why are mortals so hung up on peace? ” He shuffled via his papers. “Or might be it’s time to develop out many of the African civil wars? ” Artemis slammed the door and went upstairs to the touchdown, the place Hephaestus had put in the lavatory in what have been Athena’s outdated study—a determination that had no longer long past down rather well with Athena. Artemis didn’t knock. Artemis by no means knocked. She basically kicked the door open and swept inside of. Apollo used to be bare and sitting, legs mercifully crossed, at the bathroom seat, portray his fingernails with transparent polish. sooner than Artemis may perhaps converse to him, although, the bathe curtain was once yanked apart to bare Aphrodite, glistening rainy and smiling a serpent’s grin. “Shut the door, might you? ” she stated. “You’re letting in a bad draft. glance, my nipples are all erect. ” She fingered one as though checking out a cherry for ripeness. Artemis refused to upward push to the bait. She knew that Aphrodite thrilled in attempting to surprise her. in its place, she grabbed a towel from the rail and threw it to her aunt. “Wrap your self up, then,” she acknowledged. Aphrodite stuck the towel and coiled it round her hair. Artemis became clear of her and confronted her dual. “I should have a observe with you, Apollo,” she acknowledged. “Is now a great time? ” “No,” acknowledged Apollo. “Good,” acknowledged Artemis. “I was once out operating at the Heath this present day, and wager what i discovered? ” “Two males rogering one another within the timber? ” recommended Aphrodite, who used to be now perched at the fringe of the bathtub. Artemis suppressed a shudder. “I wasn’t acutely aware that I’d invited you to hitch this conversation,” she stated. “You didn’t,” stated Aphrodite. “Apollo,” stated Artemis. “Any feedback of your individual? ” “Not a clue,” Apollo stated, yet he seemed a bit light. He knew what was once coming, and he quite was hoping that he was once incorrect. “Allow me to jog your memory,” stated Artemis. “Does the identify Kate suggest whatever to you? ” Apollo used to be really shocked. “It doesn’t, no,” he acknowledged. “Typical,” stated Artemis. “That makes it even worse. Kate is the Australian mortal that you just changed into a tree the previous day. ” Apollo’s face went from faded to white. He appeared like a statue of himself. “You did what? ” stated Aphrodite, emerging to her ft. If something, she sounded even angrier than Artemis felt.

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