By Dave Barry
Pulitzer Prize-winning stand-up comedian Dave Barry is a stunning amiable man. yet in recent years, he’s been getting a bit labored up. What can make a mild-mannered guy of phrases so scorching less than the collar? good, loads of things–like undesirable public paintings, net millionaires, SUVs, Regis Philbin . . . or even greater difficulties, like
• The slower-than-deceased-livestock left-lane drivers who it appears think that the perfect lane is sacred and must not ever are available in direct touch with tires
• The parent-misery quotient of last-minute college technological know-how reasonable projects
• Day buying and selling and different careers that by no means require you to take off your bathrobe
• The plague of the low-flow bogs, that's so undesirable that even in Miami, the place you should buy medicinal drugs simply by beginning your entrance door and yelling “Hey! i would like a few crack,” you can’t even promote your first born to get a normal-flushing toilet
Dave Barry isn't really taking any of this sitting down. He’s going to face up for the rights of all americans opposed to ridiculously named strong point “–chino” coffees and the IRS. simply once he will get the darn bathroom flushed.
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Extra resources for Dave Barry Is Not Taking This Sitting Down
After a few months, almost all of them have given up and gone back to the ninth grade. Do you think you could do this job? Do you have what it takes to be a truly professional humor columnist? To find out, take the following multiple-choice quiz: TEST OF YOUR HUMOR-COLUMNIST APTITUDE The part of the newspaper that you turn to first is: The front page. The editorial page. The page that says what time The Simpsons is on. The primary purpose of a newspaper column is to: Inform the readers about all sides of important issues.
I was on Politically Incorrect because I was on a book tour. You go on whatever show they tell you to go on, in hopes that the host will at some point hold your book up to the camera, causing consumers all over America to rush to bookstores to purchase it. You will basically do anything to get your book on TV. For example, a few days earlier, I let a total stranger commit a major act of gel on my hair. This was on The Today Show, in New York. I was sitting in the makeup room, drinking coffee, trying to wake up, and the makeup person, after studying my head, called the hair person over, pointed at my hair, and said: “See?
This happened in Los Angeles, on the TV show Politically Incorrect. People yell a lot on that show. One time I was on there with Micky Dolenz; he yelled at me, too. Back when I used to watch The Monkees on TV, I never dreamed that one day, one of them would be yelling at me personally regarding current events. This is a great nation. Guests are encouraged to express strong views on Politically Incorrect, because it makes for better entertainment. The host, Bill Maher, could name any topic at all—say, monetary reform in the 17th-century Netherlands—and we guests would immediately be at each other’s throats over it, even if we were not totally certain what “Netherlands” are.